Tag Archives: wife

Oppressed? I think not.


Oh, so we are oppressed now huh? Just because we have decided to protect ourselves from the ravaging desire in men? That’s oppression? Go check the dictionary.

Their women can’t even go out of the house without slapping on tons of makeup that makes them look “pretty”, without making sure they look really attractive by wearing skin tight clothing, drenching themselves in perfume, and being all giggly and super annoying. They have such low esteem of themselves that when they get a small spot that is barely recognisable, they have a “traumatic experience to be with them for the rest of their lives”….. and you’re calling us oppressed?

Every heard of natural beauty people? Ever heard of keeping that natural beauty protected for your one love in life, i.e your husband? It seems not.

Sisters (and brothers?) this world is but a journey. Like a person going on a long journey, and resting in the shade of a tree. That shade is this dunya, just temporary. We shouldn’t let small small things of  “Oh, but I won’t look pretty,” “But people will stare at me,” “No-ones going to like me,”…. deter us from our straight path.

We need to keep our haya (modesty)  intact and we need to do our best to please Allah

Which is why I have chosen to start wearing the niqab.

Here are some of the styles that i thik suit women the best.

I really like the long ones that come from your head. They really suit tall sisters, making them look graceful and elegant. They also look really nice on other height, the way they drag and are so flowy. These types are great for both summer and winter.. You can wear as many layers as you want underneath it in the winter, since it will never become tight on you, and in the summer, you can just wear a simple t-shirt and trouser, and this will keep you nice and cool by having the air circulate around your body due to its flowyness (is that a word?)

Assalamualaikum.

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Do you have a boyfriend?


“EVERY week I meet two high school girls at a place in Jeddah where I attend classes. Most of their excited talk revolves around the ‘hottest’ guy in their school to the weekly sundry crushes they have. The girls are ever-inquisitive about how many boyfriends I have, and have even managed to peep at my phone’s contact book, stopping at every male contact to look askance at me and ask: ‘This must be your boyfriend, no?’

Sometimes, in social gatherings, the ‘are you married?’ or ‘are you engaged’ questions are replaced with ‘do you have a boyfriend?’

Call me old-fashioned or simply passion-proof, I admit I have never been fascinated by my schoolmates’, and later, college mates’, obsession with the B-word. Yes, Boyfriend. ‘Top Secrets’ are kept, classes are bunked, rumors are made and even fights are picked up because of the B-word.

Why are we girls so fixated over what can be best described as an illicit non-marital (similar to extra-marital) relationship?………………….”

An excellent article I think everyone should read.

Full article @ Girls Talk – Do you have a boyfriend?


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We women have to be careful…


Narrated by ‘Abdullah: Allah has cursed those women who practise tattooing and those who get themselves tattooed, and those who remove their face hairs(1), and those who create a space between their teeth artificially to look beautiful, and women changing the features created by Allah. Why then should I not curse those whom the Prophet has cursed? And that is in Allah’s Book. i.e. His Saying: ‘And what the Apostle gives you take it and what he forbids you abstain (from it).’ (59.7)

 

(1)  It would be permitted for a woman to remove a beard or a moustache that appears on her face. Even though it is facial hair, but since it is to stop women from resembling men, it is permitted. This is the opinion of the majority of scholars, in fact they have said it is recommended, not just permitted. The same will be to bleach this hair instead.

If the eyebrows are linked in between, it would be permissible to remove the excess hair from in between to separate them [i.e. the hair above the nose]. The reason for this is that linked eyebrows are looked upon as a defect, hence it would be permissible to remove it.

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..I felt so jealous, I killed her…


A man came to Ibn Abbas (ra) and said, “I asked for a women’s hand in marriage, and she refused me. Someone else asked for her hand and she accepted and married him. I felt jealous so I killed her. Will my repentance be accepted?”

Ibn Abbas (ra) asked, “Is your mother still alive?”

He said, “No.”

So Ibn Abbas (ra) told him, “Repent to Allah and do your best to draw close to Him.”

Then Ataa’ ibn Yasaar (ra) who over heard their conversation asked, “why did you ask him if his mother was still alive?”

Ibn Abbas (ra) said, Because I know of no other deed that brings people closer to Allah than kind treatment and respect towards one’s mother.

[ Bukhari, Al-Adab al-Mufrad, 1/45 baab birr al-umm [kindness to the mother].]

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Virtues of Hijaab


1.An act of obedience.
The hijab is an act of obedience to Allah and to his prophet (pbuh), Allah says in the Qur’an: `It is not for a believer, man or woman, when Allah and His messenger have decreed a matter that they should have an option in their decision. And whoever disobeys Allah and His Messenger, has indeed strayed in a plain error.(S33:36).
Allah also said: And tell the believing women to lower their gaze (from looking at forbidden things) and protect their private parts (from illegal sexual acts, etc) and not to show off their adornment except what must (ordinarily) appear thereof, that they should draw their veils over their Juyubihinna.‘(S24:31).
Juyubihinna: The respected scholars from As-Salaf As-Saleh (righteous predecessors) differed whether the veil cover of the body must include the hands and face or not. Today, respected scholars say that the hands and face must be covered. Other respected scholars say it is preferable for women to cover their whole bodies.

2.The Hijab is IFFAH (Modesty).
Allah (subhana wa’atala) made the adherence to the hijab a manifestation for chastity and modesty. Allah says: ‘O Prophet! Tell your wives and your daughters and the women of the believers to draw their cloaks (veils) over their bodies (when outdoors). That is most convenient that they should be known and not molested.’ (S33:59). In the above Ayaah there is an evidence that the recognition of the apparent beauty of the woman is harmful to her. When the cause of attraction ends, the restriction is removed. This is illustrated in the case of elderly women who may have lost every aspect of attraction. Allah (swt) made it permissible for them to lay aside their outer garments and expose their faces and hands reminding, however, that is still better for them to keep their modesty.

3.The hijab is Tahara (Purity) Allah (swt) had shown us the hikma (wisdom) behind the legislation of the hijab: `And when you ask them (the Prophet’s wives) for anything you want, ask them from behind a screen, that is purer for your hearts and their hearts.’ (S33:53).
The hijab makes for greater purity for the hearts of believing men and women because it screens against the desire of the heart. Without the hijab, the heart may or may not desire. That is why the heart is more pure when the sight is blocked (by hijab) and thus the prevention of fitna (evil actions is very much manifested. The hijab cuts off the ill thoughts and the greed of the sick hearts:
`Be not soft in speech, lest he in whose heart is a disease (of hypocrisy or evil desire for adultery, etc) should be moved with desire, but speak in an honourable manner.’ (S33:32)

4.The hijab is a Shield
The prophet (pbuh) said: “Allah, Most High, is Heaven, is Ha’yeii (Bashful), Sit’teer (Shielder). He loves Haya’ (Bashfulness) and Sitr (Shielding; Covering).” The Prophet (pbuh) also said: “Any woman who takes off her clothes in other than her husband’s house (to show off for unlawful purposes), has broken Allah’s shield upon her. The hadith demonstrates that depending upon the kind of action committed there will be either reward (if good) or punishment (if bad).

5. The hijab is Taqwah (Righteousness)
Allah (swt) says in the Qur’an: `O children of Adam! We have bestowed raiment upon you to cover yourselves (screen your private parts, etc) and as an adornment. But the raiment of righteousness, that is better.'(S7:26). The widespread forms of dresses in the world today are mostly for show off and hardly taken as a cover and shield of the woman’s body. To the believing women, however the purpose is to safeguard their bodies and cover their private parts as a manifestation of the order of Allah. It is an act of Taqwah (righteousness).

6.The hijab is Eemaan (Belief or Faith)
Allah (swt) did not address His words about the hijab except to the believing women, Al-Mo’minat. In many cases in the Qur’an Allah refers to the “the believing women”. Aisha (RA), the wife of the prophet (pbuh), addressed some women from the tribe of Banu Tameem who came to visit her and had light clothes on them, they were improperly dressed: “If indeed you are believing women, then truly this is not the dress of the believing women, and if you are not believing women, then enjoy it.”

7. The hijab is Haya’ (Bashfulness)
There are two authentic hadith which state: “Each religion has a morality and the morality of Islam is haya'” AND “Bashfulness is from belief, and belief is in Al-Jannah (paradise)”. The hijab fits the natural bashfulness which is a part of the nature of women.

8.The hijab is Gheerah
The hijab fits the natural feeling of Gheerah, which is intrinsic in the straight man who does not like people to look at his wife or daughters. Gheerah is a driving emotion that drives the straight man to safeguard women who are related to him from strangers. The straight MUSLIM man has Gheerah for ALL MUSLIM women In response to lust and desire, men look (with desire) at other women while they do not mind that other men do the same to their wives or daughters. The mixing of sexes and absence of hijab destroys the Gheera in men. Islam considers Gheerah an integral part of faith. The dignity of the wife or daughter or any other Muslim woman must be highly respected and defended.

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Conversation about hijaab


Why do People neglect hijaab? Here is a fascinating Conversation………

Hijaab

 

“It’s not a big sin. Helping people and praying is more important.”
“True. But big things start with small things.”
“That’s a good point, but what you wear is not important. What’s important is to have a good healthy heart.”

“What you wear is not important?”
“That’s what I said.

“Then why do you spend an hour every morning fixing up?”
“What do you mean?”

“You spend money on cosmetics, not to mention all the time you spend on fixing your hair and low-carb dieting.”
“So?”

“So, your appearance IS important.”
“No. I said wearing hijab is not an important thing in religion.”

“If it’s not an important thing in religion, why is it mentioned in the Holy Qur’an?”
“You know I can’t follow all that’s in Qur’an.”

You mean Allah tells you something to do, you disobey and then it’s OK?”
“Yes. Allah is forgiving.”

“Allah is forgiving to those who repent and do not repeat their mistakes.”
“Says who?”

“Says the same book that tells you to cover.”
“But I don’t like hijab, it limits my freedom.”
“But the lotions, lipsticks, mascara and other cosmetics set you free?! What’s your definition of freedom anyway?”
“Freedom is in doing whatever you like to do.”
“No. Freedom is in doing the right thing, not in doing whatever we wish to do.”
“Look! I’ve seen so many people who don’t wear hijab and are nice people, and so many who wear hijab and are bad people.”

“So what? There are people who are nice to you but are alcoholic. Should we all be alcoholics? You made a stupid point.”
“I don’t want to be an extremist or a fanatic. I’m OK the way I am without hijab.”

“Then you are a secular fanatic. An extremist in disobeying Allah.”
“You don’t get it, if I wear hijab, who would marry me?!”

“So all these people with hijab never get married?!”
“Okay! Wha t if I get married and my husband doesn’t l i ke it? And wants me to remove it?”

“What if your husband wants you to go out with him on a bank robbery?!”
“That’s irrelevant, bank robbery is a crime.”

“Disobeying your Creator is not a crime?”
“But then who would hire me?”

“A company that respects people for who they are.”
“Not after 9-11”
“Yes. After 9-11. Don’t you know about Hanan who just got into med school? And the other one, what was her name, the girl who always wore a white hijab.ummm.”
“Yasmeen?”

“Yes. Yasmeen. She just finished her MBA and is now interning for GE.”
“Why do you reduce religion to a piece of cloth anyway?”

“Why do you reduce womanhood to high heels and lipstick colors?”
“You didn’t answer my question.”

“In fact, I did. Hijab is not just a piece of cloth. It is obeying Allah in a difficult environment. It is courage, faith in action, and true womanhood. But your short sleeves, tight pants.” ??
“That’s called ‘fashion’, you live in a cave or something? First of all, hijab was founded by men who wanted to control women.”

“Really? I did not know men could control women by hijab.”
“Yes. That’s what it is.”

“What about the women who fight their husbands to wear hijab? And women in France who are forced to remove their hijab by men? What do you say about that?”
“Well, that’s different.”

“What difference? The woman who asked you to wear hijab.she was a woman, right?”
“Right, but.”

“But fashions that are designed and promoted by male-dominated corporations, set you free? Men have no control on exposing women and using them as a commodity?! Give me a break!”
“Wait, let me finish, I was saying.”

“Saying what? You think that men control women by hijab?”
“Yes.”

“Specifically how?”
“By telling women how and what to wear, dummy!”

“Doesn’t TV, magazines and movies tell you what to wear, and how to be ‘attractive’?”
“Of course, it’s fashion.”

“Isn’t that control? Pressuring you to wear what they want you to wear?”
Silence

“Not just controlling you, but also controlling the market.”
“What do you mean?”

“I mean, you are told to look skinny and anorexic like that woman on the cover of the magazine, by men who design those magazines and sell those products.”
“I don’t get it. What does hijab have to do with products.”
“It has everything to do with that. Don’t you see? Hijab is a threat to consumerism, women who spend billions of dollars to look skinny and live by standards of fashion designed by men.and then here is Islam, saying trash all that nonsense and focus on your soul, not on your looks, and do not worry what men think of your looks.”
“Like I don’t have to buy hijab? Isn’t hijab a product?”

“Yes, it is. It is a product that sets you free from male-dominated consumerism .”
“Stop lecturing me! I WILL NOT WEAR HIJAB! It is awkward, outdated, and totally not suitable for this society …
Moreover, I am only 20 and too young to wear hijab!”

“Fine. Say that to your Lord, when you face Him on Judgment Day.”
“Fine.”

“Fine.”
Silence
“Keep quiet and I don’t want to hear more about hijab niqab blab!”
Silence.
She stared at the mirror, tired of arguing with herself all this time. Successful enough, she managed to shut the voices in her head, with her own opinions triumphant in victory on the matter, and a final modern decision accepted by the society, rejected by the Faith:
Yes to curls or blowed dried hair, no to hijab

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Hijaab


33:53


يَا أَيُّهَا الَّذِينَ آمَنُوا لَا تَدْخُلُوا بُيُوتَ النَّبِيِّ إِلَّا أَن يُؤْذَنَ لَـكُمْ إِلَى طَعَامٍ غَيْرَ نَاظِرِينَ إِنَاهُ وَلَـكِنْ إِذَا دُعِيتُمْ فَادْخُلُوا فَإِذَا طَعِمْتُمْ فَانتَشِرُوا وَلَا مُسْتَأْنِسِينَ لِحَدِيثٍ إِنَّ ذَلِكُمْ كَانَ يُؤْذِي النَّبِيَّ فَيَسْتَحْيِي مِنكُمْ وَالله لَا يَسْتَحْيِي مِنَ الْـحَقِّ وَإِذَا سَأَلْتُمُوهُنَّ مَتَاعًا فَاسْأَلُوهُنَّ مِن وَرَاءِ حِجَابٍ ذَلِكُمْ أَطْهَرُ لِقُلُوبِكُمْ وَقُلُوبِهِنَّ وَمَا كَانَ لَـكُمْ أَن تُؤْذُوا رَسُولَ الله وَلَا أَن تَنكِحُوا أَزْوَاجَهُ مِن بَعْدِهِ أَبَدًا إِنَّ ذَلِكُمْ كَانَ عِندَ الله عَظِيمًا

“O you who believe! Enter not the Prophet’s houses, except when leave is given to you for a meal, (and then) not (so early as) to wait for its preparation. But when you are invited, enter, and when you have taken your meal, disperse, without sitting for a talk. Verily, such (behaviour) annoys the Prophet, and he is shy of (asking) you (to go), but Allâh is not shy of (telling you) the truth. And when you ask for anything you want, ask them from behind a Hijāb, that is purer for your hearts and for their hearts. And it is not (right) for you that you should annoy Allâh’s Messenger, nor that you should ever marry his wives after him (his death). Verily! With Allâh that shall be an enormity. (Al-Ahzāb 33:53)

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Niqab, a gift from Allah.


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10 Beautiful Aspects Of An Ideal Muslimah


1. Her Obedience to the Creator:

A practicing Muslim man loves to have a practicing Muslim wife; who knows that the life of this world is nothing but a test from her Lord; giving her an opportunity to come closer and closer to Allah, doing more and more good deeds to please Him Azza wa jal, restricting herself from the desires of her inner self that go against the will of her Creator.

But as for him who feared standing before his Lord, and restrained himself from impure evil desires, and lusts. Verily, Paradise will be his abode. (Surah An- Naaziyaat: 40-41)


2. Her Haya (Modesty/Shyness):

Haya is one of the most significant factors of a woman’s personality. Haya according to a believer’s nature refers to a bad and uneasy feeling accompanied by embarrassment, caused by one’s fear of being exposed or censured for some unworthy or indecent conduct.

Prophet Sallallahu alaihiwasallam said: “Haya comes from Eman; Eman leads to Paradise. Obscenity comes from antipathy; and antipathy leads to the fire.” (Sahih Al-Bukhari)

A Muslim woman feels shy to do anything that would displease her Lord in any aspect. She has haya in her talk, she has haya in her gaze, she has haya in her clothing, she has haya in her walk. Her haya in her talk is that she is not soft in her speech but speaks honorably. Allah subhanahu wa ta’ala says (interpretation of the meaning):

“O wives of the Prophet! You are not like any other women. If you keep your duty (to Allah), then be not soft in speech, lest he in whose heart is a disease (of hypocrisy, or evil desire for adultery) should be moved with desire, but speak in an honorable manner” (Surah Al-Ahzaab:32)

Her haya in her gaze is that she does not look at what Allah subhanahu wa ta’ala has prohibited for her to look. Allah subhanahu wa ta’ala says (interpretation of the meaning):

And tell the believing women to lower their gaze (from looking at forbidden things), and protect their private parts (from illegal sexual acts)… (Verse continues) (Surah An-Nur: 31)

Her haya in her clothing is that she does not reveal to others what Allah subhanahu wa ta’ala has forbidden for her to reveal. Allah subhanahu wa ta’ala says (interpretation of the meaning):

…And not to show off their adornment except only that which is apparent (like both eyes for necessity to see the way or outer dress like veil, gloves, head-cover, apron, etc.), and to draw their veils all over Juyubihinna (i.e. their bodies, faces, necks and bosoms,) and not to reveal their adornment except to their husbands, or their fathers, or their husband’s fathers, or their sons, or their husband’s sons, or their brothers or their brother’s sons, or their sister’s sons, or their (Muslim) women (i.e. their sisters in Islâm), or the (female) slaves whom their right hands possess, or old male servants who lack vigor, or small children who have no sense of the feminine sex.. (Verse Continues) (Surah An-Nur: 31)

Her haya in her walk is that she walks modestly without attracting others attention towards herself. Allah subhanahu wa ta’ala says (interpretation of the meaning):

..And let them not stamp their feet so as to reveal what they hide of their adornment. And all of you beg Allâh to forgive you all, O believers, that you may be successful. (Surah An-Nur: 31)

Abu Usayd al-Ansari narrated that he heard Allah’s Messenger Sallallahu alaihiwasallam say to the women on his way out of the mosque when he saw men and women mixing together on their way home: ‘Give way (i.e., walk to the sides) as it is not appropriate for you to walk in the middle of the road.’ Thereafter, women would walk so close to the wall that their dresses would get caught on it. (Narrated by Abu Dawood in “Kitab al-Adab min Sunanihi, Chapter: Mashyu an-Nisa Ma’ ar-Rijal fi at-Tariq)

A woman who has the knowledge of Allah’s commandment to preserve her modesty, submitting herself to the will of her creator, even after having the desire to be praised for her beauty, is without doubt beloved to Allah subhanahu wa ta’ala and as well as to all good believing men.

3. Her Beauty:

Allah subhanahu wa ta’ala made women beautiful in the sight of men. It’s just that some human beings are more attracted towards some than others.

Aishah RadhiyAllahu anha said: “I heard the Prophet Sallallahu alaihiwasallam saying: ‘Souls are like conscripted soldiers; those whom they recognize, they get along with, and those whom they do not recognize, they will not get along with.’” (Sahih Al-Bukhari)

Al-Qurtubi said: “Although they are all souls, they differ in different ways, so a person will feel an affinity with souls of one kind, and will get along with them because of the special quality that they have in common. So we notice that people of all types will get along with those with whom they share an affinity, and will keep away from those who are of other types. [This is like the old saying goes, “Birds of a feather flock together”] For a believing man, a Muslim woman’s beauty is not just how her nose looks or how big her eyes are, but her modesty, purity of heart, and innocence make her look beautiful as well. Also Allah subhanahu wa ta’ala makes people whom He loves, pleasing to others.

“When Allah loves someone he calls to Jibreel Alaihissalaam saying, ‘O Jibreel, I love such and such a person, so love him.’ Then Jibreel will call to the (angels) of the heavens, ‘Allah loves such and such a person so love him.’ And the angels will love [that person]. And then Allah will place the pleasure in the hearts of the people towards this person.” (Sahih Al-Bukhari and Muslim)

4. Her Intellect/playfulness:

Intellect and playfulness are two qualities of women highly liked by men. Every man likes to have an intelligent wife who can advise and support him in day to day matters. Khadija bint Khuwaylid RadhiyAllahu anha was one of the most beloved wives of Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him). She supported Allah’s messenger (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) at the very beginning of his Prophethood when Jibreel alaihissalaam brought the first revelation to him. Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) always admired her and remembered her even long after her death. A playful wife is a joy and pleasure to a man’s heart. Prophet Sallallahu alaihiwasallam recommended Jabir bin ‘Abdullah to marry a virgin so that the two could play with each other and amuse each other. Narrated Jabir bin ‘Abdullah: “My father died and left seven or nine girls and I married a matron.

Allah’s Apostle said to me, “O Jabir! Have you married?” I said, “Yes.” He said, “A virgin or a matron?” I replied, “A matron.” he said, “Why not a virgin, so that you might play with her and she with you, and you might amuse her and she amuse you.” (Hadith continued) (Sahih Al- Bukhari)

5. Her Truthfulness:

Being truthful and honest is an essential quality of a believer. ‘Abdullah ibn Mas’ood RadhiyAllahu anh said:

The Messenger of Allah Sallallahu alaihiwasallam said: “I urge you to be truthful, for truthfulness leads to righteousness, and righteousness leads to Paradise. A man will continue to be truthful and seek to speak the truth until he is recorded with Allah as speaker of truth (Siddeeq). And beware of lying, for lying leads to immorality and immorality leads to Hell; a man will continue to tell lies until he is recorded with Allah as a liar.” (Sahih Al-Bukhari and Muslim)

A person who is known to lie repeatedly loses his trust. And if that happens in case of a marital relationship the whole relationship falls apart. A woman who is known to be a “Siddeeqah” certainly has a higher status in a Muslim man’s heart.

6. Her Obedience:

Allah Subhanahu wa ta’ala made man protector and maintainer of the woman and enjoined upon her to obey him in all the matters that do not go against Quran and Sunnah. Allah subhanahu wa ta’ala says (interpretation of the meaning):

“Men are the protectors and maintainers of women, because Allah has made one of them to excel the other, and because they spend (to support them) from their means” (Surah An-Nisa’: 34)

The Messenger of Allah Sallallahu alaihiwasallam said,

“The best women is she who when you look at her, she pleases you, when you command her she obeys you, and when you are absent, she protects her honor and your property.” (At-Tabarani, Ibn Majah)

7. Her Patience:

Patience is a characteristic that can never be praised enough. A woman who remains patient at the times of hardship and relies on the help and mercy of Allah is without a doubt a beloved servant of Allah subhanahu wa ta’ala. Allah says (interpretation of the meaning):

“And Allah loves As-Saabiroon (the patient)” (Surah Aal Imran: 146)


8. Her Cooking:

Delicious food is without a doubt weakness of men. It’s an old saying that “The Way to a Man’s Heart is through his Stomach”. We also know that one of Prophet’s (Sallallahu alaihiwasallam) wives used to cook food that he liked a lot and due to that Aishah radhiyAllahu anha would get jealous, because she didn’t know how to cook that.

9. Her Contentment with Rizq:

No man likes to have a woman who is always complaining about how less her husband earns or how rich her other friends are. A good Muslimah is the one who thank Allah for what He has blessed her with and she is thankful to her husband for what he provides her with. Abu Hurairah RadhiyAllahu anh reported:

The Prophet Sallallahu alaihiwasallam said, “Richness is not the abundance of wealth, rather it is self-sufficiency.” (Sahih Al-Bukhari and Muslim)


10. Good Manners:

A woman of good manners is a blessing from Allah subhanahu wa ta’ala. When she speaks, she speaks honorably, why she deals with others she deals with them kindly. She is polite with elders, loving to children, and good to her fellow folks. It is related by ‘Abdullah bin Amr that the Prophet Sallallahu alaihiwasallam said:

“The best of you are those who possess the best of manners.” (Sahih Al-Bukhari and Muslim)

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